How To Harness Your Negative Emotions To Make Positive Changes

Negativity exists in our lives. There is no way around it. No matter how hard you try to live in the moment, focus on positivity, or practice being grateful every day, you will still experience times of negative emotions in your life. But this can be a good thing. Negative emotions signal that you need to make a change in your life. Whether it is stress, anger, fear, jealously, resentment, or any other negative emotion, the point of them all is to warn you that something needs to change.

But it is how you deal with these signals that is important. Do you respond with more negativity, try to ignore the problem and hope it goes away, or take positive action to eliminate the problem? No prizes for guessing which one is best for you.

Responding to negative emotions with negativity is just plain bad news but it is often what our default response is. When something occurs that makes us angry we choose to react with that anger, lashing out without thinking first. Negative actions (or reactions) just attract more negativity into our lives and the end result is that we create an even worse situation than we started with. Negative actions = negative life.

Ignoring, or running away from, the problem is no better. When we are presented with a negative situation and we choose to withdraw and hide from it then we are giving that negativity room to grow. And just like how super-bugs develop in our bodies, when we give negative emotions excess room we encourage them to prosper. Therefore, inaction is never the solution.

The only real answer is to respond to negativity with positive actions and here is how to do it:

Acknowledge That the Negativity Is A Sign

The first thing you need to do is actually sit down and acknowledge that you are in a negative space. Maybe you've just been dumped and are feeling sad, or maybe you are stressed out and resenting your job. It is OK to feel this way. In fact, it's normal!

Sometimes bad things happen that impact our lives in negative ways. The oft-used phrase "shit happens" nails it on the head. Shit really does happen, and it is fine to experience some negative emotions when it does. The important part is what you choose to do next.

Once you have accepted your negative emotions you need to acknowledge that they are a sign that something needs to change. Do not ignore them. You are feeling that way for a reason. It is time to make some positive changes!

Figure Out What Action Is Required

Now that you are at one with the idea that some change is required in your life you need to figure out what that actual change is. What are your emotions telling you to do. It's normally pretty obvious.

Stressed in your job? Find a new one. Hating your relationship? End it. Bored with life? Sell everything and take a holiday.

Ok it might not be that simple but I can assure you that it is pretty simple. You can go a little deeper by assessing exactly what is negative about your current situation. Try to break it down to the smallest possible level.

For example, once you start doing this you might realise that your job really isn't that stressful normally but it is just this one project that is killing you. So now you know that you only need to fix your current workload and you actually don't need to quit your job, sell your things, and go live in a cave as a hermit. Phew.

Take Action

This is the hard part. Acknowledging the negativity and figuring out what action is required is easy most of the time. Actually doing something about it is where most people will encounter trouble.

The biggest blocker to taking action is a fear of change. People are often scared of change because they do not know exactly what is going to happen once the change occurs. Well I've got news for you - the future is constantly changing and you will never ever know exactly what is going to happen. Never!

The very definition of the future means that it a step forward in time which means that things have changed. Time has progressed and billions of actions have taken place. And this occurs every second! You cannot stop the change process but you can make sure that in your life you are the one in control of the changes.

Inaction and indecision are common symptoms of a fear of change (and fear of failure/success). By not taking action you let everyone else in the world decide what will happen for your life. You give away your power and become helpless. But if you choose to be decisive and start taking action you begin creating the changes that you want instead of being inundated by the changes that everyone else wants.

Keep Adjusting

You wont get it right first time but you will learn a hell of a lot along the way. Maybe the first change you made was not enough. Maybe you really did hate your job after all and just fixing that one project didn't help. So you readjust. You take stock again, assess the situation, and make another change. Another positive change that is.

Or maybe the first change you made was too drastic and you realise that the original situation was better than the one you are in now. That's fine too. Just readjust and try again until you get it right and find a place where you feel happy, excited, and passionate. Remember that the process is cyclical.

The process is also endless which sounds scary but it isn't. It is endless because as your life changes so will your experiences, your goals, and your emotions. What you want (or think you want) in the future will be different to what you want now. But you can only act on the information you have in the current moment, so as long as you keep adjusting as your life goes on you will experience more happiness and positivity, and much less of that dreaded n-word.

Summary (Cheat sheet)

For those less inclined to read longer articles I will play nice and include a (very) simplified summary. But you really should read the whole thing. I promise it's worth it. :)

• Accept your negative emotions are valid.
• Acknowledge them as a signal for change.
• Figure out exactly what the problem is.
• Make a positive change. Make any positive change. Just change something!
• Continually readjust until you hit your target.

That's it! Get out there and start making positive changes in your life!

Fitness February and My 4 Hour Body

February is over. Time to assess how I fared in my self imposed Fitness February and do a 6 week wrap up of my experiences on The 4-Hour Body.

Fitness February Goals

Visit the Doctor - Done (barely). I was slack for this. I only ended up seeing the Doctor yesterday and even that was for another problem. I have been referred to a specialist though and through that I will get my blood taken and some test done to get a good snapshot of my health and fitness, which was the whole point.

Visit a Feldenkrais expert/Physio/Chiropractor - Not done. I have no excuse here apart from a lack of motivation. I really did want to go but it felt like other important things kept popping up and physio took a back seat. It is still on my to-do list though.

Trim Body Fat - Done. I definitely trimmed down over February, dropping several centimetres from my hips and waist. For more information scroll down to the 4 Hour Body section.

Build Muscle - Done. While losing a bit of fat I managed to gain weight still which was mostly muscle. I gained several centimetres, especially on my chest and my arms and shoulders are definitely more defined. See the 4 Hour Body section for more details.

Run better - Done. I only completed two full runs over 5kms but I also did several short practice sessions on the treadmill to work on my running style. My first run was on 18/02 for 5.38km in 34:03 which is an average pace of 6:20 minutes per kilometre. My second run was 5.47km in 30:41 which is an average of 5:37 minutes per kilometre, smashing my goal of wanting to run 5km in 30 minutes.

My 4 Hour Body Journey

I have had pretty good success with The 4-Hour Body concepts. I definitely lost weight on the Slow Carb Diet, and I have gained some muscle following the Occam’s Protocol after struggling early on but that was simply because I was not eating enough food.

My Measurement Changes

Left Bicep (cm): 32.5 >>> 32.5 (no change)
Right Bicep (cm): 33 >>> 33 (no change)
Chest (cm): 99.5 >>>102.5 (+3cm)
Waist (cm): 88.5 >>> 83cm (-5cm)
Hips (cm): 93 >>> 90.5 (-2cm)

Weight (kg): 84.3 >>> 82.9
Body Fat (%): 17.5 >>> 14.0

Note: I did not follow the supplement plan given for gaining mass with Occam’s Protocol. I went natural (except for some protein powder) so that means no Glutamine, NO-Xplode, PAGG etc. Which could well be the reason why my muscle gain was no where near the effects described in the book.

Strength Changes

Close Grip Pull Down(kg): 40 >>> 60 (+ 50%) Shoulder Press (kg): 20 >>> 35 (+ 75%) Bench Press (kg): 25 >>> 40 (+ 60%) Leg Press (kg): 90 >>> 130 ( +44%)

I made significant gains in strength across the board. All from only 11 short work outs! Impressive.

Before and After Photos

There is not too much noticeable difference here but I promise it is there. I thinned down quickly around my waist and hips (losing 3kg in under 2 weeks) and then slowly gained size, especially across my shoulders and chest. Sophie has commented several times on my changed size and shape so unless she is just fanning my ego it appears my results are noticeable to others.

Conclusions

A good February. I achieved most of my goals and am definitely feeling fitter, healthier and happier because of it. My 4 Hour Body experiment was an overall success even though I did not turn into the Hulk. I enjoyed only spending an hour at the gym every week and still getting results. Much better than slaving away at the gym for hours on end. Less effort, same results.

I am going to take a little break from the gym to rest a few niggles I have picked up along the way (mainly a tight back which I think was me trying to be a he-man with the kettlebells). After that I will re-start my bulking routine, probably changing up a few exercises. I am not a big fan of the close-grip pull down so that will be the first to go.

The diet will continue. I modified it heavily to increase my food intake for bulking and now it has become habit. Its not a diet anymore but just my lifestyle. I am also considering trialling the Paleo diet/lifestyle. Maybe that is another experiment I can run sometime in the near future.

Edit (27/4/11): I did indeed trial the paleo diet and I have just gone past the first month and I am loving it. The trial is over and it is now a lifestyle.

Decisions Cause Manifestation

Every action we take in our life begins with a decision. Without decisions we could not achieve anything. The decision is the catalyst for putting our thoughts, dreams, desires, and goals into action. Most people think that success and achieving goals comes from carefully planning the correct action but this is only partly true. Before that can happen you need to decide that it actually will happen. Deciding that you are working towards a specific outcome solidifies the idea in your mind, and also forces you to exude energy that will progress you towards the goal. When you make an active decision your mind will strive to fulfill it, identifying any possible opportunities that could help and even subconsciously controlling your actions to guide you closer to your goal.

Deciding leads to manifestation. Once something has been decided upon, things will start to occur to fulfill it. It is as simple as that. So why do most people not do this when talking about that one fantastic goal, or dream, they have? Fear. But today we are not looking at why it happens but how to take control and use the power of decisions to our advantage. Today we are going to make things happen.

An Illustrative Story - Toby the Cavoodle

First, a story to illustrate the point. This story is about Toby (warning: cute puppy picture following...)

Toby

On Saturday Sophie and I adopted Toby. Yes he is that cute in real life, but the real gem of this story is how quickly it all transpired after we decided to get a puppy.

We had talked about getting a dog for many months but always with some doubt hanging around, gnawing in the background. We both said we wanted a dog but we never really committed to getting one until last Friday night.

Sophie and I were out walking and the conversation turned to dogs (again) and then the inevitable reasons for not getting one. But we pushed through all those negative thoughts and we realised we were so definite that we wanted a dog. We both looked at each other with excitement in our eyes and decided “we are going to get a dog”. It felt right.

Arriving home, Sophie received a call from her sister who told her that the RSPCA was having an adoption drive the following day. When the universe aligns to make things happen it does it in a big way.

We canceled our Saturday plans and headed to the RSPCA, but we were let down. Most dogs were too big, or had such high energy levels, that we could not have kept them happy at our house. When we found a smaller dog ideally suited to our property and lifestyle, we discovered a family was already waiting to take her home. Feeling dejected, we went for a drive, pondering our situation. We had been certain that the RSPCA was a sign but we were still dog-less.

Two hours later we found ourselves at an out-of-the-way pet store doing some research on what we would need when we did eventually did become new puppy owners. While talking to the assistant we played with a litter of Cavoodles and during that time Toby won us over. He was fun, energetic, and smart. We had found the dog for us and he went home with us the very next day. Our decision had manifested.

Decisions Cause Manifestation

The point to the story is that nothing happened until we made that finalising decision. We both had longed a do  for months but we had never actually made a conscious decision about it. When we finally made that decision it took less than 24 hours for us to go from decision to manifestation, with many signs along the way pointing us in the right direction and reinforcing our decision.

Adopting a puppy is not really a big dream to have and because of this the gap between decision and manifestation was short. That is how the universe works; the smaller the goal, the smaller the time it takes to occur after we have decided to make it happen.

Consider the action of eating. When you make the conscious decision that it is time to eat the relevant actions occur quickly with little problems and you end up eating a meal pretty quickly. But bigger goals, like buying a house, quitting your job, or starting your own business, take a lot more time to manifest.

That is not meant to serve as a scare-tactic but work as motivation. If you are dreaming about something big then you need decide to make it happen today, so that you give it as much time as possible to manifest. Putting off the decision will only delay your goals more. Use today to decide that you will make your dream come true.

Remove Fear and Self-Doubt

Once you have made the decision, the biggest problem you have facing you is your own fear and self doubt. These are the stumbling blocks that you encounter that prevent your goal from manifesting.

If you start doubting if you will fulfill your goals then guess what? Your mind will find reasons to prove your self-doubt correct. Compare the difference between these two statements: 1) “I want [x]...I want it to happen no matter what!” 2) “I want [y]…Maybe its impossible. Maybe I should aim for something else.”

If you were given both these statements at the same time which one would you focus your attention on? Number 1 of course! Why waste time and energy on a task when we have doubts that it is even possible? And that is exactly how your mind works when you feed it doubt and fear. It is blatant self-sabotage and it prevents you from achieving your goals.

To turn this around you need to start believing and stop doubting. It can be hard skill to learn, especially if you have spent your life listening to the masses of people who try to tell you what you cannot do, so I recommend starting small. Pick a goal that is small but will be noticeable when it is fulfilled. Make a decision that you will achieve your goal and state your decision aloud. This helps you feel more accountable. Even better is if you can tell someone you trust - your partner, friends, or family. Spend 10 minutes a day, preferably at the start, reminding yourself that you made this decision and you fully intend to see it fulfilled.Then wait for he opportunities to unfold in front of you, often in unexpected ways.

Decide to be successful.

If you liked this article you might like reading more on The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and The Way You Think and Why it's Wrong.

Fitness February - lose fat, build muscle, run better

February 2011 is going to be all about fitness. Leo Babauta of ZenHabits.net fame is a shining light for how to break bad habits and introduce good ones and in the past five years he has quit smoking, lost 50 pounds, run several marathons, tripled his income, wrote a novel, wrote several e-books, and the list just keeps going. One of his key concepts is to only focus on changing one habit at a time which is a simple yet effective method consider the basic human behavioral stance is to oppose major change. Following this concept I have decided to dedicate the next 28 days to fitness.

Fitness February

The word "fitness" is pretty generic and is too vague on its own. The changes I am implementing will be a little bit more than just one thing but they all come under the fitness umbrella term. I think I can manage that. But as I mentioned previously, setting measurable goals and tracking data is the best way to remain focused on a task, so I will break it down a bit more to set myself tasks that I can easily measure my success against.

February Goals

Visit the doctor - I generally manage to steer clear of doctors baring semi-emergency experiences (collapsed lung, broken wrist, attacked by a clothesline). But this month I am going to schedule an appointment jus to get a full assessment on my health. I want to know how I am going now and what areas I need to work on.

Visit a Feldenkrais expert/Physio/Chiropractor - I was researching neck relaxation techniques the other day and stumbled upon a reference to the Feldenkrais Method. This phrase particularly piqued my interest: "changes in our ability to move are inseparable from changes in our conscious perception of ourselves as embodied", so I will be visiting a Feldenkrais practitioner to see what we can discover about how I use body. If I cannot find a good practitioner then I will settle for a physiotherapist or chiropractor for the time being.

Trim body fat - before I started My 4 Hour Body adventure two weeks ago I estimated my body fat percentage to be at 17.5 - 20%. That is too high. I am a naturally sporty person and I do not like being out of shape so my goal is to trim down to 10% body fat and reduce waist and hip measurements by a further 2cm (already down 4.5cm and 2cm respectively).

Gain size in muscles - I want to be one of those guys who kisses his biceps before going to bed and wears nothing but singlets, even in winter. Ok, not quite that bad, but some extra size in the right places would be great. I want to gain at least 2cm in my biceps, chest, and thighs.

Improve my running style and ability - I want to do some analysis on my running style and improve it to be more efficient. I am thinking about creating my "30 year bucket list" (things to do before I turn 30) and competing in a marathon\triathlon will definitely be included. So I want to iron out any kinks in my running style. As a subset to this I want to be able to run 5km in under 30 minutes by the end of February.

I think that will do. February is going to be great and by March I am going to be a leaner, fitter, stronger, and happier version of myself. And I will be ready for my next lifestyle challenge!

Update (2/2/11): You can now read the outcomes of Fitness February in this article.

Starting Measurements

As I mentioned previously, I have started following the Slow Carb Diet and Geek to Freak sections from Tim Ferriss' latest book - The 4-Hour Body. And I just finished talking about the value of setting goals and tracking data so it would be a remiss of me to not include these before I get into the swing of things.

Goals

My goals are fairly simple to start with:

1. Lose Fat – Cut my body fat percentage to under 10% and drop 2cm on waist and hips
2. Gain Muscle – Add at least 2cm to Biceps, Chest, Quads

Starting Measurements

Weight: 84.3kg Body Fat: 17.5% (estimated) Lean Body Mass: 69.5kg (based on weight minus body fat estimate) Right Bicep (unflexed and flexed): 29.5cm/33cm Left Bicep (unflexed and flexed: 29cm/32.5cm Chest: 99.5cm Waist: 88.5cm Hips: 93cm Right Quad: 56.5cm Left Quad: 56.5cm

For posterity I also took a couple of photos so I can compare the changes visually. They will make a good set of "before" photos when showing off how massive I am in a few months.

Update (2/2/11): You can now see my 6 week measurements and "after" photos in this article.

Setting Goals and Tracking Data

Making dramatic life changes is quite a challenge. Breaking old habits is an arduous task especially when it comes to implementing a new diet and exercise plan. Through experience I have discovered two great (and simple) tricks to avoid falling back into my old ways - setting measurable goals and tracking data often.

Setting Measurable Goals

Setting airy-fairy goals like "I want to eat better" or "I want to exercise more" is no good when trying to adjust to something new. If you cannot measure your goal then how will you know when you succeed? And how will you know if you are on target along the way? Failing to set measurable goals (or not setting goals at all) is one of the main reasons why people fail to stick to a diet or exercise plan.

Tip: When setting goals, aim for measurable variables that can be tracked often. For example: "I want to have a body fat percentage of less than 10%". Even if you resort to just tracking something in the simplest form (i.e. body weight) it is better than nothing.

Track Data Often

Now that you have your measurable goals defined, you need to start tracking that data. Often. Recording your data will help you maintain motivation when the figures start showing positive progress before you can visually see any. Visual interpretation is biased based on your mood. Numerical data just shows you the plain old facts without bias.

Tip: Set regular times to do your measuring. Keeping it consistent will prevent the impact of normal body fluctuations skewing results and will also help you establish a routine. Remember "What gets measured gets managed."

Image: Idea go

My 4 Hour Body

Tim Ferriss (the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The 4-Hour Work Week) has released another bestseller - The 4-Hour Body. It is an interesting recount of his years of personal experimentation with dieting, fat loss, muscle gain, injuries, rehabilitation, and more. It is backed up with scientific research, expert advice, and data from previous studies. From the horse's mouth:

The 4-Hour Body is the result of an obsessive quest, spanning more than a decade, to hack the human body. It contains the collective wisdom of hundreds of elite athletes, dozens of MDs, and thousands of hours of jaw-dropping personal experimentation.

Sounds like the perfect thing for me to test and as such my first personal challenge to track here will be my attempt to achieve my very own 4 hour body. I will be following two parts of the book in particular - the Slow-Carb Diet and Geek To Freak, tracking all progress along the way.

Goals

At this stage my goals are pretty simple:

1. Lose Fat - Cut my body fat percentage to under 10% and drop 2cm on waist and hips
2. Gain Muscle - Add at least 2cm to Biceps, Chest, Quads,

Measuring for Success

"What gets measured gets managed" is the call of the day for this plan. Any diet and exercise plan needs to be monitored properly to ensure motivation is maintained and the best way to do that is by measuring everything. That way during any times of weakness or self-doubt, the cold hard facts are there to give unwavering encouragement. My measurements will include:

• Body Fat Percentage
• Body Weight
• Bicep size
• Chest size
• Waist size
• Hips size
• Quadricep size

The diet officially starts tomorrow (although I did a trial run for dinner - ground mince, lentils, capsicum, all wrapped in lettuce) and the exercise routine will kickoff later on this week. Keep an eye out for more updates to come soon including all my starting measurements, and outline of my diet rules, and my exercise plan.

Side note: If you don't know how Tim Ferriss is then I suggest checking out his blog and the above mentioned books. A very interesting character who has achieved so much in his life so far.

Update (2/2/11): You can now read the 6 week wrap-up of my 4-Hour Body journey in this article.